journey to recovery · mental health · mental health blogger · mental illness · personal journey · Uncategorized

10 Weeks Away – UPDATE

I feel like I haven’t wrote to you guys here in forever! Life has changed so much since I last posted in May.

In June, I flew across the other side of the world to work at a summer camp for children with special needs in the United States. I have been working with children since I was 15 and special needs children since I was 16 and have enjoyed every minute. These children make me feel complete – they give me purpose; they bring hope and positivity every single day.

Now, travelling across the world has its own challenges. Homesickness. Unfamiliarity. Loneliness…but the positives made everything so bearable. New friendships. Self-discovery. Passion. Feeling like you’re doing something good… Summer camp made me feel like I belonged. I discovered so much about myself and put all my love into those around me. I felt whole – like I was home. I have found my place.

Summer camp has been the best experience of my life. I have grown in so many ways, met so many different types of people as well as cultures…and discovered that even the people you expect to have it all together find it difficult too…

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In the terms of updating you guys on my journey – its been nearly 8 months since I came off medication for mental health. To me, that number is incredible! After being on medication for 18 months…not relying on any is a big deal (even though its a struggle).

My anxiety has its ups and down. I don’t think there’ll ever be a day where I will be completely anxiety free (well at least not in the near future) and I am completely okay with that. Anxiety has become a part of me. Anxiety has been with every single memory I have – I know no different. Although anxiety can be a negative thing in so many aspects…I pondered on it for a while recently and realised that my anxiety shapes my personality and brings some positives.

My anxiety makes me overthink – which allows me to be prepared for everything that could happen (but usually never does)

My anxiety sends me into panic and stops me feeling safe – which allows me to avoid danger (a lot of the time) due to being over-safe and checking everything (such as making sure doors are locked and being ultra-aware of my surroundings)

My anxiety makes me hypersensitive to everything around me – which allows me to be sensitive towards others and notice when things just aren’t quite right.

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I have missed each and every single one of you. You think I don’t notice you but I do – every like, every favourite, every comment, every blog share, every follow.

I love you guys so much and pray everyday that you choose recovery.

You deserve it.

I’ll post soon – I promise.

  • – Sav x
journey to recovery · mental health · mental health blogger · mental illness · personal journey · Uncategorized

Weight Loss, Positivity and Self-Discovery

Positivity is hard in a world full of negativity, deception and destruction. Some people are just naturally positive people who see the positive in everything, take everyday with happiness and plough through every opportunity life throws at you. I think I was that type of person when I was a small child, maybe around the age of 3-5. Life was an adventure, exploring trees and taking the guinea pigs for walks in the grass. Life was flying over rivers on a lose rope, and then turning up at the house covered in water and mud. When I was 8 years old, anxiety introduced itself to me and from there the positivity seemed to drain away. With anxiety comes a type of paranoia – assuming people think negative of you, or that laugh across the lunch room between those 3 girls was because of you, etc. When your a child, the world to you is perfect and safe so at 8 years old to have mental illness thrown at you is such a trying thing. It makes you second think your opinion on the world and the people in it. Not only that, at 8 years old I never even knew mental illness existed so there was no explanation for the way I thought about the world or why I was so anxious 24/7.

Anyway, the point is, as you grow you tend to lose that spark that life gives you. Life sometimes stops becoming an adventure and in regards to mental illness life is just about waking up tomorrow. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to realise things about myself and continue everyday with self-discovery. When you gain information about something, even in regards to yourself, you need to start to piece the jigsaw together so that you can find all the things that help you and work for you and what make you happy. My jigsaw isn’t complete but one day it will be, I’m sure.

On another note, I’m starting the day with a rare bit of positivity – after watching the snow and a 7lb weight loss, I feel a little more encouraged to move, move, move today and I’m going to take a mindful walk.

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