It’s been 2 months since I came off ALL medication for mental health problems. The decision to come off medication was decided pretty quickly and I know its something that should be considered for weeks and months. In order to pursue an opportunity of a lifetime, I needed to come off medication and therefore made the difficult decision to stop them. The first few days were great – I didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms and wasn’t as tired.
Month 1 was very up and down. The first few days of coming off medication was absolutely amazing. I felt like I had more energy and didn’t need to nap. However, I did feel emotionally torn at first to part with them when they’ve been a rock for so long. I didn’t think they had been working anyway though and quickly got over the emotional attachment. Towards the end of the 1st month, symptoms of mental illness started coming back. On medication, I still experienced these symptoms but quickly came to realise that the medication at least helped ‘mild’ them out. These symptoms – without medication – hit with all the power they had. On medication, depressive symptoms weren’t constant, but arose now and again. Without medication, depressive symptoms were constant.
Month 2 wasn’t up or down – it was very much down. Suicidal thoughts, depressive episodes, panic attacks and self harm came 100 miles an hour. I’ve come to realise that although the medication did not get rid of mental illnesses nor did it stop symptoms, it prevented my mental illnesses getting extremely bad. Without medication, mental illness has full rein against your mind – or my mind at least.
I know that being on medication is different for everyone. A lot of people refuse to take any type of mental health medication, where as others seize the opportunity because therapy refuses to work. I’m still unsure on whether coming off medication was in my best interest, but I accept that each month will be new and different. Each month without medication will either get worse or better – and that will be the deciding factor on whether medication is needed in my life.
If you’ve recently come off meds I’d love to hear how you’re getting on. If you’re considering coming off meds, please look into every option before hand and weigh the pros and cons. Coming off medication is a HUGE decision and can positively or negatively impact your life.
Take care lovlies.