My friends. Friends are SO important in life, but there’s only so much that they can put up with. The mental illness isn’t you and you’re not the mental illness but friends can find this so difficult to accept. They worry which in turn makes your relationship suffer due to tension. You struggle all the time and most of the time they don’t know how to help. You get points where you don’t want help, you don’t want people, you don’t want life. You ruin things for people because of your mental illness – even if you don’t intend to. You eventually become happy, carefree but this in itself carries risks and they don’t want it. They get angry, perhaps even upset and you feel a burden, you feel guilty, you don’t want to live anymore.
My freedom. Mental illness prevents you from thinking clearly. It doesn’t allow you to do whatever you want. “That will make you anxious,” “Going out will make you suicidal.” It stops you feeling social so that you end up sitting in your room by yourself. You need to think things through more to see whether or not your mental illness is going to take over. Can I walk down a street? Can I drink alcohol without dangering my life?
Relationships. “Can I be with someone who has a mental illness?” “How do I explain to this guy that I have an invisible illness?” Relationships are so hard but can be so necessary in mental illness. They provide peace, contentment and happiness, but when you first meet someone bringing up mental illness can be difficult. Most people don’t want to have deal with it – its too complicated.
21 years old, blogger at Saving Savannah, author of Smiling Through Recovery, youtuber at Becoming Autism, mental health campaigner.
Experience and history of Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety disorders, Anorexia Nervosa, Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder and Type 1 Diabetes
Follow me on my journey to discovery and life at savingsavannah.org
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